14 of february is a day when the word love gets overused and abused. Randomly placed on mint packages or 1 euro greeting cards, it reminds us of the feeling called love praised in books and for sure the most amazing feeling in the whole world.
14 of february comes every year but not every year is everyone’s year.
So if you are alone tonight, and probably feel a bit bad about it, admit it :P, just remember it is not your year to be in love. This feeling called love is so damn rare that you can’t abuse it every year. So, instead, think that you are saving it for maybe next year, next summer, next monday.
Anyway, I got to think about love in the past days and what do I think it means for me, since I am 26 now and maybe I can have an opinion about it because I feel it.
I think I was romantically loved 3 times in my whole life, by 3 men and I loved one of those 3 that loved me. Maybe more have loved me, but that is irrelevant now.
So what does being in love feel like for me?
- Being in love is like constantly preparing myself to go to prison because I know one day I will not be able to control myself and then I’ll have to pay for it.
- Being in love is everyday practicing hoping, turning hoping into the religion I never had. When I am not in love, I feel hopeless.
- Being in love is constantly having inside my head tons of ideas like appearing naked on his door and hoping he is alone, or making 2 eggs with a smile underneath, made of ketchup and these ideas alone are enough to make me happy just thinking about them, maybe never doing them, while I take the subway and go to work.
- Being in love is like always having a warm blanket with me. The warm blanket is for my mind, for my thoughts, it keeps me going, keeps me from not being afraid of the darkness.
- Being in love is like having my own Batman. When I am in love with him, I effectively think that there is nothing that him can not do, although I am aware he is flesh and blood.
- Being in love is like having a huge piece of chocolate cake and giving it all up, although I really love cake, and I am not giving it up because there are hitmen pointing guns at my head, I am giving it up willingly.
- Being in love is standing in front of a door for 3 hours or more because I don’t have the courage to go in and say I am in love.
- Being in love is like sitting in a tub of warm water all the time, floating.
- Being in love is trying to be at my best: my best clown face, my best hair day, my best, my optimistic me, my best hand holder, my best head holder, my best everything because I feel like giving the best and he deserves best.
- Being in love is like I’m not afraid of dying because I am living the best thing there is. I am always afraid of dying when I am not in love.
- Being in love is wanting to do sports and eat only healthy food so I get to stick around in this world longer, so we can be together longer.
- Being in love is when I kiss and everything else becomes hazzy and I want to laugh and I want to cry, because I feel so lucky that I’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all, at the same time.
- Being in love is never being normal again.
- Being in love is actually making me start believing in life after death and reincarnation, only because in my head it would be so cute to be squirells and run around from one tree to another.
- Being in love is maybe hating what he says or how he acts but still being there to give an encouraging thought because I simply can’t help it.
Fire to the heart. Peace to the thought.
I am pretty sure this wonderful feeling feels different for you but this is how it is with me, this is how I recognize it.
If you are reading this and it is your year, then congrats, you lucky B 🙂
If not, bottoms up and hope 🙂